The Wild World of TB!

This isn't anonymous, only anonymous to you guys. Sorry but this woman asked me to please keep her name private but she wanted to get this out there. She is involved in scenario paintball but is not a member of my team or anything like that. I have not edited any of the email, it is as it was sent to me. Read this and ponder your choices of who to support. The Truth and Moral thing to do or MXS?

To Whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter as a woman. I am not permitted by my husband to make a public statement for the main simple reason, he knows Pacman well and he is afraid for my safety.
I am sending this letter to TB because, well he has the balls to print it. I don’t feel enough women are able to come forward with there points of view out of fear. I am writing this hoping more women in paintball will come forward with their thoughts and opinions.
Pacman has been known to retaliate against those he feels wronged by, so I cannot make a public statement with my name. If you think I am a coward, go fuck yourself, but I know I am not alone. I know more people feel this way and are to afraid to speak out.

These are my opinions alone, not anyone else’s. After reading most of the forums, court documents and threads about the Founder of MXS.. Pacman, Patrick McKinnon rape crime.

1. The first time a sex offender gets caught is not the first time it has happens. I do not believe, for the evidence found at the crime scene that this was the first and only time it ever happened. For Example when a company employee gets caught stealing, usually it's at least the third time. I believe Pacman has only been caught by the law once, but, I do not believe it's the only time this has happened...He asked for the return of his "sex props" after his trial. How many people really believe this is his one and only time???

2. What makes your Dick hard makes your Dick hard or in the case of male on female rape it’s the power of domination at any cost even if the cost is the life of an innocent woman.. A sexual predator of any type has no right to those things in life they stole from their victim. I have heard the rumors of Pacman taking advantage and abusing women. That "forgive and forget" theory is N/A in sex offender cases. All of them. Taking up for the underdog or posting outrageous forgiveness from lollipop land is a cry for Internet attention from those that are powerless in the real world. You are not defending a wronged man, you are defending a guilty man and, in my opinion, a repeat sex offender in my book. What he got caught at is not necessarily the only crimes against women he has done. The additional women abused by Pacman, may vary well be your girlfriend, wife, daughter, friend, or sister and they are just afraid to speak up because of all the abuse you take has a victim of a sex crime. When I was a child, I was molested (not raped) by my babysitters boyfriend, I reported them. My parents told me it never happened, I didn't know what I was talking about. That makes you feel worthless as a girl, you feel you body is not your own and you have to put up with what men do to you just because you are female. As a teen, and I admit I was placing myself in bad situations, I was raped not once but several times at the age of 14 in a scenario much like but, much more graphic than, what Pacman did. Again, because I was in a bad situation I was the dirty one and I was the one at blame. I went on in my young adulthood to feel I had to submit to what men tell me to do whether I liked it or not. This let into more date type rape situations in my life, not rape but I still, I feel my choices where taken from me or at least my judgement was not what it should have been. You can probably tell from my last statement, I still doubt myself because that is what I was conditioned to do. Please don't feel sorry for me or write off my statements because you think I'm just another victim with a grudge, I'm not.. This is my only point to make:

Is this the message you want to say to you daughter, wife, girlfriend, sister or any other woman in your life, by shooting the messenger of the pacman rape crime? Please tell the females in you life, they matter by asking your daughters, wives and girlfriends about this and be willing to stand with them, not make them feel dirty and ashamed and like they deserved it because they are worthless. There should never be any shame in being a victim.

3. Pacman has a charismatic personality, and so did Jim Jones, David Koreche, and many others like him. Some people really know how to rally support and some people are just sheep, they need to follow directions, they need a purpose or a cause. That's how alot of cults are formed. Like it or not people tend to believe him. Unlike TB, who makes it easy for you to hate him, he doesn't tell you what you want to hear, he will tell you the truth. It's alot easier to hate TB or any other messenger of the truth, than to hate the truth. The truth makes you accountable for your actions and take responsibility. In the end, and only after the damage is done..The truth always wins.... The truth has never been told to us by Pacman. His career was based on a lie. In the end, to those that stand behind Pacman and Mother, do you really think Pacman and Mother will stand behind you.. like you are standing behind them? My guess is you will be left embarrassed with your paintball gun in hand and not feel comfortable to play at most games...That's a great loss for the paintball industry and who do you think will have been the cause?

4. It saddens me has a woman to know that Patrick McKinnon has profited well and not ever paid a dime to his victim. He has also made his money by stepping on people and conning his way around paintball. Look at the damage and arguments in the scenario community. Most if not all trace back to Pacman. He attacked Wayne Dollack, Viper, TB.and many others, even had a hand in the destruction of Shatnerball by forcing out JJ Brookshire, the man who did the legwork, had the personal connections to William Shatner, and promoted the event the first two years. The pushed him out because he planned to bring in another producer the following year and, charity or not, it was simply a cash-cow for MXS.

Are his games that great that you need them? Does he really add that much great stuff to paintball that it's worth what he did to those that thought of him has a friend. Using people to get ahead is not honorable but, very common and accepted in today's society. Sad Huh?

The phrase of the day is "I thought Pacman was my friend"

I refuse to spend money on another MXS game, or allow my family to do so. In the state of Texas any business formed after a marriage is owned 50/50 by both spouses. I will not ever be comfortable associating with a known sex offender. This is one crime I cannot forgive. I cannot forgive Mother for justifying it, she is a woman and I feel by her own statements it is very apparent she cares more about your dollars and damage control than trying to right a wrong and clean-up her sloppy dealings. Her only recourse should have been to demand an annulment, take over MXS, and publicly step away from Pacman. Instead she chose to stand by him and support him. That which you do not oppose, you support.

My family is not blaming the paintball industry for this. Paintball is a great sport and there are plenty of other good family atmospheres to spend money at. I encourage you to play where you are comfortable. You will never find us at an MXS event.