The Wild World of TB!

So some of you guys have been bugging me about when is Dave Cilio going to post here. Well the truth is who the hell knows. However while updating the team website I noticed that Dave had won quite a few MVP's this year along with the MVT's that he helped win. As most of you that read this know Dave Cilio, you have heard him called the 'machine' and that he isn't human. Well I was watching you tube the other day and watched Chuck Norris read the 'internet facts' about Chuck Norris. It made me laugh and think of Dave Cilio, so enjoy these Cilio'isms!

Chuck who?

If you ask Dave Cilio what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he shoots you in the face, tactically transistions and drops your base.

When Dave Cilio sends in his registration, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Dave Cilio has not had to pay entry, ever.

CNN was originally created as the "Cilio News Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot paintball ass kicking in real-time.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on paintball games that Dave Cilio played in the second grade.

Dave Cilio has two speeds: Run and Kill.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Dave Cilio's warm-up exercises.

Dave Cilio is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will drop your base in a paintball game.

Dave Cilio can hit your base so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally put their hands up and yell "Can we have our base back now, Mr. Cilio?"

Dave Cilio doesn't wear nightvision to see in the night, he has natural thermal vision. He wear's nightvision to give his opponents a fighting chance.

Dave Cilio doesn't have to shoot his opponents. The paintballs jump out of his opponents hoppers and eliminate their owners out of fear.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Dave Cilio.

When Dave Cilio falls in water, Dave Cilio doesn't get wet. Water gets Dave Cilio.

Dave Cilio’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Dave Cilio shooting you out and dropping your base.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Dave Cilio to go around.

If you Google search "Dave Cilio getting owned in a paintball game" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

When Dave Cilio is in a crowded area, he doesn't go around people. He goes through them.

Dave Cilio once worked as a weatherman for the New Jersey evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

A high tide means Dave Cilio is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

There is in fact an “I” in Cilio, but there is no “team”… not even close.

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Dave Cilio because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Cilio's paintball autobiography.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Dave Cilio would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

Dave Cilio is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Dave Cilio doesn't step on toes. Dave Cilio steps on necks.

Once you go Cilio, you are physically unable to go back.

Dave Cilio doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Dave Cilio is the only person in the world that can actually email a shot in the face and a perfect tactical transitioned base dropping with a hot insertion.

Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Dave, Hidden Cilio"

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Dave Cilio can actually drop your base yesterday.

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Dave Cilio jersey he was wearing.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Dave Cilio.

If Dave Cilio were a calendar, every month would be named Ciliotober, and every day he'd drop your base and shoot you in the face.

Fear is not the only emotion Dave Cilio can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get shot in the face from Dave Cilio."

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every hot insertion, there is Dave Cilio.

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Dave-Cilio-Division”.

Most boots are made for walkin'. Dave Cilio's boots ain't that merciful.

Dave Cilio destroyed the periodic table, because Dave Cilio only recognizes the element of surprise.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Dave Cilio. Dave Cilio eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Dave Cilio."

Dave Cilio does not own a base or shoot players. He walks into random bunkers and people call themselves out.

Dave Cilio doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Dave Cilio uses a Tac light. Not because Dave Cilio is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Dave Cilio.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Dave Cilio.

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Dave Cilio. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Dave Cilio's urine. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Refs refer to people in the dead box as "ABC's". Already Been Cilio'ed.

Dave Cilio doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

When Dave Cilio works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.

The square root of Dave Cilio is pain. Do not try to square Dave Cilio, the result is death.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Dave Cilio.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Dave Cilio.

And finally...........

When you say "no one's perfect", Dave Cilio takes this as a personal insult.

I mean look at this photo and tell me what you think?