The Wild World of TB!

Yep, another rant from the mean ole TB. This time about the 'new' format that some promoters have decided to use. Normally I was against this when I was the 'thinktank' for a certain ratsnake promoter, and don't get me wrong I am happy he went to this. I mean, if there is one sure way to run off people(besides spreading lies and rumors about them behind their backs or getting their wives banned or well you get the picture) it is dumbing the game down. What am I talking about?

Seems the hallmark of scenario paintball, the grandest and bestest 'steak' product out (if you listen to him talk) Viper Scenario has gone the way of laziness and making it easier for people to 'get' the game. Now I am sure that some of you are saying, well things should be easier that is how you get more people. Really? I mean 20+ years of scenario with mission cards, and now people are too stupid to fill out mission cards or decode missions?

Well not according to him, I quote: The idea is to more closely emulate real life. In the real world the commander would simply direct his troops, they would complete their tasks, and the battle would continue. It's all about the tasks getting done, not about the little slip of paper, or the necessity to run it out there are keep track of it.

There are a few issues I have with that. First and foremost, real life? Like what you see on the movies? OPORDS are a part of everyday briefings at the field, FRAGORDS or even the 5 paragraph Order (that I am used to) are all the over place in the field. I mean there are waterproof version on US Cavalry for sale for the grunts in the field. If you are wanting to emulate real life, then the mission card is the best way to do it. Right?

Let's look at a statement from an army manual about it: An integral part of Officership is your ability to master your Profession of Arms. Plans and orders are the method the commander uses to synchronize military actions. Likewise, your combat effectiveness is determined prior to the start of the battle. As a Warfighter, your primary weapon system is the OPORD. Your combat power cannot be concentrated on the decisive point of the battlefield if you do not properly devise and brief such in your OPORD. A lieutenant does not fight with an M16 or M4. As a Warrior Officer, you fight with your mind, a map, and a marker.

Now while the commander of a side is not in the army, military strategies do work and this is a pretty good indicator of what is going on. There are no packets walking around with a 'ref' in the real world. And the missions have gone from 4 an hour to 2 an hour. I mean there may be secondary and tertairy missions, but having played this goofy ass format, they aren't any harder. Let's see... Take and Hold Bridge 1 for 20, for 30 for 45 minutes is not a real mission count. You want realism, break it down. Situation, Mission, Execution, Admin and Logistics and Command and Control.

What this is, plain and simple is a reduction in the amount of overhead for the promoter, reduction in work the refs have to do, reduction in work the commanders have to do, and a easier way for a commander with his shit together to punish a dumbass commander who doesn't. What you have effectively done is render that people who can't keep track of shit will get their asses kicked or quit playing the game. At least with a mission card, you could see it, you could hold it, you could write on it, you could do a lot of things with it. This is a fucking game, not fucking WAR. Even if it is based on WAR it is a fucking WAR GAME! The mission card is the center of so many stories and so many things to be done and now you have taken that away to the tune of not only do you have to do it, but know you have to have someone see it and that person has to track down everybody and their brother to tell them about it.

The days of the indepth mission are gone, the missions that make sense, the missions that brought about the legends of players. The ability to give things to people who don't have radios and don't play at my level to have fun. For me, if I was playing Ratsnake's games this would be a fucking boon. Both VIP games I played (which used this format) were fucking blowouts. Worse than most scenario games, and rolling this out to the masses isn't going to be any better. That was supposed to be the 'cream of the crop' and at both games one side just couldn't get their shit together while the other side had comm, interaction and accountability.

I am glad that some promoters out there truly respect the genre and what it means and will continue to either hand out mission cards or call them in to be decoded. I mean there is nothing like having your base under fire and you having to quickly decode a mission and getting it out the back door or having a radio guy working with you to get the missions in and out and back quickly. But those days are in the past. Oh Well!!!

The pussification of Viper players continues!

I see a lot of posts lately, and I just have to ask myself that question.

You see, apparently a few years ago, somebody got the idea that you could get people to play tournaments by just holding them in the woods. It's not a bad idea. People play them.

... but why the hell is it always advertised in the scenario section? Why do people even think "woodsball" and "scenario" have anything to do with each other, at all?

If you are playing a tournament, it's a tournament. It does matter what material the object you are hiding behind is made out of. All of the tactics, skills, and largely the goal is exactly the same. You use a small group of 5 or 10 guys, possibly with substitutions. The point is to eliminate the other team, preserving as much of yours as possible, and score as many points as you can based on the existing rule set.

... but what the hell does that have to do with a scenario game? A scenario game you don't even need a marker for. A marker is just 1 of many means available to eliminate somebody on the other team. It doesn't matter if the entire field is made out of inflatable kid birthday balloons, cinder blocks, or a massive forest of oaks.

For a scenario, you have several common features. You have a lot of people on typically 2 sides. There is often some role-playing. There are often special powers. There's a re-insertion window. There's even score and game manipulation on the fly by the promoters. There's even a kumbaya vibe.

Any tournament trying to run like that... wouldn't.

I wanted to write something about this guy, that some may think based on his part in the industry the last 7 or so years would be the last person to be a friend to the mean ol TB. Now, when I mention part of the reason for this, you will think that I am speaking out of turn and some may even say that this is not the time for this. But well, I just don't know how else to say what I need to say here about the man, the myth, the legend. So I will just throw it out there.

Spiro is in a bad way. A bad way that I watched kill my mother, slowly and painfully. Spiro has a disease that is killing his liver and there will come a day where it will stop working and he may die. Yes, you heard me, there is a reason he has all but vanished from the scenario paintball scene. For my shame, it took me 9 months to realize that something was wrong and that I should call him to find out what. I know Spiro is a proud man, and I will not try to embarrass him here. But the man, who means allot to me, needs help and we aim to help him.

If you don't know who Spiro is, I would like to think of him as the originator of the TB personae. What do I mean by that? When I first met Spiro in the fall of 2000, it was at my first game that I ever commanded. It was my 3rd scenario game, that I had ever played and it was against Viper and Blitzkrieg. Now I know it is hard to imagine, but there was no TB at that time. Just Lawrence, the guy who had just started playing paintball in general and scenario paintball in specific. And here I was, fresh off the pistol shot introduction to Blitzkrieg and the stories that swirled around the team at that time. And here was the legend of Viper and his friends. Kerry played it up as well, getting into my head with ease and playing mind games with the naive Lawrence. I was friends with Amy Mierschien at the time, who was the MXS publicist, as well as David 'Goombah' Hoffmann who was the MXS silent partner. I remember walking into the commander's meeting that night with Viper sitting opposite me with the other commander. Secure in his feeling that he was going to bury me and my side. He had his gen 3 night vision and years of playing scenario paintball. I had Spiro; and in the end that was enough.

My first introduction to Spiro was that night, I anxiously paced the camp site, and I remember Amy telling me to stop worrying that I had Spiro. And I said, what is a Spiro and her response was simple; he was the Anti-Viper, and you know what she was right. There are so many great stories at that game, Spiro coaching my inner role player, Spiro helping me think outside the box, Spiro taking Viper to task for whining on several key calls, Spiro going and stealing back the main prop by sneaking in the other sides CP and stealing him without a shot. And his refusal to take the MVP, because he told me that taking on Viper and putting him in his place was all that he wanted. And I won, I literally won because of his teaching, his mentoring and it took me into the next game.

I commanded the next game in Colorado, playing the same character that I had played in Arkansas. Spiro again was my mentor, and he taught me a lot that game. He taught me the value of base assaults, the psychology of the game, he taught me how to make the other commander quit. I mean he literally had the other commander in tears (and it wasn't a woman). He sat with me in the MXS trailer as I got the make sure that the player you are shooting at is having as much fun as you are. He counseled against doing what the promoters wanted, but I knew better. I put a 15 year old in charge of my CP and walked off the field and called it night. He was there when we got up in the morning to see the scores were now tied. He was there to teach me how to shrug that off and go into the final battle, gaining the momentum back. He was also there when we lost the final battle on a last minute push. And he was there when I lost the game by 3 points. He was there when the other commander turned to me and said in front of everyone that he had beaten me. He was there to remind me that I had beaten myself. And he was there at the birth of TB, because that was it. I vowed then and there to never lose because of a failure on my point. I vowed then and there to never back off until the game was over. That I would play like I was losing, even when I wasn't. Those were words learned from Spiro.

The next game is where I got the name TB, but that was another learning experience for me. At that game, I learned the arts of bullshitting the other side with fake props, introducing fake money, dead man walks and the ability to blend, even while wearing a WHITE SKULL Mask and carrying nothing on the field but a pair of sidekick semi pistols. Spiro pushed me to be better than the normal player, to get into people's heads and to take from them the very thing that they seemed eager to give and that was the free thought to play the game. I made the other side hate me, I stole their props, I screwed their role players over, it was so bad, that I would fly a helicopter into the midst of a fire fight and people would stop shooting each other just to follow me like the pied piper back to their base just to get a chance to shoot me as I landed to blow up their base. It was so bad, that after I took MVP, there were several guys who booed when I got the award. Mother remarked that she didn't understand why people were mad at me, I had simply played the game, and while I may be a dick on the field I was a big Teddy Bear off the field. Packman refused to call a grown man Teddy Bear, and he, Mother and Spiro dubbed me TB.

There are many more stories as I learned and got my footing in scenario paintball. Spiro was in a lot of them in those early years. He was still a player at the time, doing the Joint Fury Southwest thing. I am sure that as word of this gets out, that hopefully more people will come here and post their Spiro stories. I may put up a thread on MCarterBrown about Spiro as well. This isn't an obituary by any stretch of the imagination, but it may indeed be time to remember some of the people who molded and made the current leading generation in the game.

Spiro is pretty much out of the sport these days, he has sold his field, and most of his paintball stuff to pay his bills both medical and others. He has his good days and bad, trust me, my mom has only been dead a few years and I remember the agony and watched her come apart before my eyes. I want to try and make things as good as they can be for the man who was one of my first memories in the sport, the man who I looked up to more than anyone with maybe the exception of Doc John and Darkman (but that is another story). He will be producing two games this year, both in New Mexico. The first will be the first weekend of May, the second will be the first weekend in October. I don't know what the theme is, and I really don't care. I will be at one or both, and if you have ever wanted to meet one of the guys who helped make scenario paintball what it is, you will be there too. I know that after talking with Bobby Goglin of Darkhorse Productions and Chris 'Bomber' McVeigh of Joint Fury, Thunderstruck will be doing something to help raise some money for Spiro. I hope to get his paypal account and get it up here soon so that people who have a little extra money (yes I know these are hard times, but this is a hell of a lot more important than flying Sean Scott in to drink) to help him out. More about the game will be posted here as he gets it, and I know several people who have offered to help write the cards, missions, and more.

I will end it with this, a rare form for me. Spiro, you have always been a friend to me, you have always been there even when you felt like I called you out on things, you always pushed me to be better than myself. I will always treasure the fact that you were one of my mentors in this game that I love. In the end, I want you to know, that I love you and I will do what I can for you and your family. I know I told you a lot of this on the phone, but still I wanted it here. So that everyone could see, that sometimes you have to be bigger than your personae and sometimes real life trumps this crazy microcosm we have created for ourselves.

So have at it guys, tear it apart or post up your best Spiro stories.

Hi. I'm Indy. I, apparently, am the Scenario Troll.

I'm going to share some excerpts from emails with you today.

"I tried VIP. I pushed and promoted. People aren't interested. I have given up the concept."

^^ pay close attention to that one

"Hard to find commanders at ALL these days...much less INTELLIGENT ones who want to be challenged :("

"Looks pretty damn awesome. However, I don't know how much luck I would have getting these guys into the whole economy and investment thing. Just have to see. I've lost a lot of faith in players wanting anything complex."

"I'm still concerned as to players these days WANT this much depth. Things have really changed a lot in the past few years, and not for the better."

Yes, Viper thinks you are stupid and can't handle a more sophisticated game. Spend enough time around him and you'll learn what many others have. Somebody is always at fault, just not him. Any complaint what-so-ever, it better be in private and under wraps, or you're just a worthless troll out to destroy his business... despite the fact that other events have absolutely terrible reputations and have still massively grown while his shrunk.

Now, this quote is from a series in an IP spat. I asked him not to use my extended scenario rules for all events. It will just get ripped off, watered down, and become meaningless. Since he stood down from doing VIP events, because you're too stupid, I decided I would host my own every 2 years. That made me the enemy, despite the fact that I was very polite and only exchanged emails instead of lawsuits.

"Never mind, I don't care to really know. However, I will ask that you resist the urge to answer questions on my forum that are addressed to me. Furthermore, if you intend on trying to launch a new company and become my competition I no longer wish to have discuss scenario paintball with you as such exchanges of information could come back to haunt me later.

Thank you for all of your help and assistance in the past. Hopefully all you've learned from being around me won't come back to bite me in the ass like it did with Patrick. He was my friend once, too."

Please find someone else to harass Allen. I'll try and remember all the fun times we shared back before you appointed yourself the keeper of wisdom on my forum, the one to make sure no one got excited about anything, and the one to keep me in line. I'm a little shocked that you would further add to the overaturation of Texas while I am facing closing my field for lack of attendance but, hey, it won't be the first time a "buddy" went into direct competition with me. Do I wish you luck with your new venture? I'm afraid I don't. Sorry."

If you are competition, he doesn't like you. On repeated posts I've pointed out the folly of joint ventures. This speaks for itself doesn't it? A competition format he's said people don't want, are too stupid to understand, at a location he has no clue of, and I'm an evil competitor, and he wishes failure on me.

... LOL!

"Right now I'm in L.A. doing an event for free after my expenses cause I got fucked here, so if you're looking for payment I aint got it. And with Darkhorse and Tactical doing events every two weeks I'm not drawing in Texas.

Tell TB I said hi"

And don't forget, the evil TB is the boogey man lurking around every corner.

Want me to post your comments and give you your 15 minutes of fame? Then you need to learn to follow the rules. It's called a real email address and statement as to who you are. You give me that and we can debate whatever the fuck you think you got.

And you and your little friends can spam the shit out of my site, I could give a fuck less. If you think that the shit you spout in those things affects me, you have lost your mind. My only mention of it is that it seems you want to get what you have to say off your chest and unlike, say PBNation where you obviously like to hang out, there is some accountability here. You don't just get to log on and run your fucking suck and then bound back off to wherever the fuck you like to hang out.

Until then, like 'your' email address, you and your little buddies can lick my balls.

TB

So yeah I admit it, I read PBNation and I see this post from the boys at Delta. Don't get me wrong, for the most part I like Delta. I think that they don't really know what hate is and they like to play at being bad boys but how many promoters have they been banned from just by voicing an opinion and destroying the will of the other side to even attend events? Yeah, that's right not that many. However they are the consumate little group to get some press. In this instance, they are petitioning for paintball players to donate money. Not to a real worthy cause, but to bring Sean Scott back to Chicago to 'play' this game he 'created'.

What the fuck ever.......I wouldn't give him a nickel if it cost a quarter to go around the world. First and foremost, Sean chose to move to Argentina, I didn't pay for him to go there, why in the name of god would I pay for him to come back? On top of that, he didn't create a damn thing. He re-created the IAO and the scenario game that they used to have that Black Cat put on. You realize that they did a Blues Brother game too right? Oh yeah, the master of scenario and the most innovative guy who puts on games must have forgotten that, then again like most things his jackass mind comes up with, it is just more copycatting (I mean OZ was already done a few years back too, but that is another story as well).

But what did he 'create'? Wayne Dollack was doing games at CPX, Paul and Sean brought Kerry in because they didn't think Wayne's games were 'fair' enough. Hence why Wayne did the role play and Viper did the missions/points. Regardless of what Ratsnake says, his true thoughts on the founder of scenario aren't that respectful. He has always given Wayne his due credit for innovation (not that he knows anything about it really much these days, another fucking Vampire game, damn Ratsnake) but always felt his games were too 'magic tree' and open to interpretation to who won the game. So that is why Viper was there, and trust me it wasn't all that 'awesome' behind the scenes. Seems the money was an issue for quite a few of those at the top to include Smart Parts.

So we fast forward to Living Losers II, Ratsnake decided that TB needed to be banned from his events and Sean Scott decided that TB was bad for the sport. Although he still wanted to sponsor my team, if I could be turned into a force of good. I called Paul at CPX and asked could Thunderstruck register to play, since it wasn't a Viper game but a CPX game that he was hired to produce. I was informed that Smart Parts rented out the field that weekend and the event was a Smart Parts event and Sean Scott had banned me from any event that Smart Parts was going to be at. I sent a few emails to the Gardners since well we were one of their 'star' teams and nothing had changed. I was the same guy that they wanted, still played the same way had the same attitude and the same website. Never heard anything about it one way or the other.

Then I read about him on Viper's site that he might lose his job. Since you know he is the Director of Awesomeness, but that doesn't pay much these days in PA. However that did bring up what would happen with Living Losers III. I mean Smart Parts is gone, Wayne is gone (they weren't going to pay the man what he wanted to just do some role playing and Kerry bitches about how MXS pushed him out of Shatnerball) and now all that is left is CPX and Viper. I can assure you that he isn't doing it for the same money he was when it was a 4 way split. So if Viper wants Sean Scott there so damn much, why doesn't he buy his good friend a plane ticket? I mean, as successful (LOL) as this game is, you would think he could afford $1200 bucks for the payday he is bound to get. Want me to add it up? OK.....

$20 bucks a head entry, 700 player game = $14,000
$15 a case of paint, times 1.4 case per player (national average) times 700 players = $14,700

So Viper's total take is about $28K and he can't afford a plane ticket for the founder of the feast? He expects the hard working paintball players who are struggling to get to the event to cover Sean Scott's travel? I mean what the fuck? I am sorry that Sean Scott hooked up with some latin hottie and got kicked out of his house by his wife who was paying for his rock n roll lifestyle and he got fired from Smart Parts (oops excuse me, layed off). But why should other paintball players pay to bring his ass to Chicago to party, drink, and just generally act like he is entitled to something. I mean, I like Paul and CPX, but well this is their choice and they make quite a bit off this as well, so why aren't they paying Sean Scott's way? Again why are the paintball players expected to do this? Like they owe Sean Scott something?

You know there are some who will email me and say that my team owes something to him because he sponsored my team. And let me tell you, no the fuck I don't. We were hired and paid for with free markers. He wanted street cred, he wanted instant credibility and the other teams he sponsored weren't giving him that. He came to us because he wanted to win, he came to us because we didn't care and he bought us, plain and simple. And we fulfilled our end of the contract, so I owe that broke fucker nothing. You know what I owe him? Some advice, and here it is, "It's called Krama (SP) Sean and I hope you get all your colon can fucking take." As for people giving him money, there are much more deserving people out there that need help with paying their bills while they are battling cancer or their kids or sick or any of another 30 or so immediate charities. Why give money to him?

I wouldn't attend Living Losers if they paid for my flight since the format is a joke, the promoter is a bigger joke and the only thing going for it is the field is cool and some of the teams are cool. But the entire premise of going out to play with people who give a fuck less about scenario paintball or the scenario game that is being played and more about them getting their ass kissed for what they have done is not appealing to me at all. I personally think it is funny, Sean was all about his command record and then he lost last year and couldn't wait to tell people how proud he was to lose the game. I bet you his command staff didn't feel that way, to be sure. But who knows?

So don't give a dime to him, had he not fucked up, maybe he would still be here in the US and could get his own damn way to the game he 'founded'. Then again you would think someone would be smart enough to get some residuals from a game he created, right?

Another song for you; this is the best lyric out there, in more ways than one.

"Piggy Bank": "Kelis say her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard / then Nas went and tattooed the bitch on his arm / Im way out in Cali, niggas know you cuz / First thing they say about u, you's a sucka for love / This is chess, not checkers, these are warning shots / After ya next move, I'll give ya what I got. (YEEAH)"